Month: September 2013

Books of summer 2013

Viva by EE Cummings

The Waste Land and other  poems by TS Elliot

The Crow by James Obarr

Please kill me by McNeil, Legs

Personae by Ezra Pound

Spit  and Passion by C. Road

The Dreamer by Will Eisner

Brooklyn Dreams by  DeMatteis

The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald



10 things that stopped me from killing myself as a teen

I’m kind of an elitist  when it comes to  cultural or consumer tastes, so I’ve  made a lot  of list in my  life. But, I  think  this is the most  important one.  A lot of  things on  this list might seem silly because people always say  “money can’t buy  happiness.” I would argue that money can buy  things that make you  happy, at least  long  enough to  hold  on. The “its gets better” people tell teens that  things get better in college. Well, they don’t. College students are the highest demographic for suicide and  mental health issues. These people also  say  to  talk  to friends and family.  But, what if you  don’t have any  one? You  put importance  on things instead.  The professionals told me I would have friends in college. I don’t, but I still  have  the important  things that saved me in high school…



The zines that  I read changed my life at  12 years old. It  was my  first  introduction  to feminism, socialism, anarchism, GLBT & queer studies. The DIY and rape support zines made me  think for the first time that people could be  in control  of their own  lives.


            Plan-it-x records is an independent record label. As a  kid with  no money  and  a love of music,  this was the  greatest. I would send a few bucks in the mail and happy wait around for a few weeks . Every time,  something would come in  the  mail I would get  so  excited and hide in my room  blasting  music for  hours.

 3) Food not Bombs.

 Food not  Bombs is a peace organization that  fights poverty and  hunger. They provide food shares for the community. Every weekend, I would cook  and serve food in  a park  and  give  it away  for free with a bunch of peace activists.

 4) Vanguard Series formerly on current tv.

 This made  me want  to be  a journalist. It  was real  stories that  affects every one.  Of course, it got cancelled because most  people don’t care  about real news. But, it saved me because it showed that some people do. That’s better than none.

5) Bike riding

 Do I really need to explain this  one? It’s amazing flying down the street on your  bike in the  middle of the  night when no one is around.

6) Jon Stewart and Stephen  Colbert

 They taught me to laugh at the things that  make me want  to die.  The world sucks but if we can make people laugh at it until they think about  it  and  it becomes  less funny, it means they  are aware of  it now.  That’s a step in the right direction.

 7) Any of my books.

I can look at any of my books and remember what  I thought  of it, how  it made me feel,  what  my  life was  like when I read it, ect.  I feel closer to my books than  any person I’ve tried connecting  with. 

 8) Darleen Conner from Rosanne

 I know, she is fictional. But, it was like watching myself on tv. We were both moody, smart, sarcastic, and the black sheep in  the family.  She had her problems, but in the end she turned out fine. It was hopeful.

 9) Hair dye and  hair cuts.

Its superficial, but  its helps.  I’ve  had  my hair every length and color. I liked changing  my hair because  it felt like I was starting  over. I’ve out grown this one. But, its fun to  remember  going to school  with blue hair and having  every one  freak out. Come  on, its just hair people.

 10) My black zip up hoodie.

It just made me feel safe when I had it on. I had it for 7 years, but it doesn’t  fit any more.  I have a new one, but it does not feel the same.

 I like to think of this  list  on my  bad days because its a nice  reminder  that  happiness does come  in waves.