If they should ask…

If mom asks how I am, don’t tell her that I’m eating out the trash. Don’t tell her about sleeping on the floor but tell her to mail cash. If she asks about classes, let her know I’m doing well, but not about  the all-nighter pills.
If my boyfriend wants  love with trust and respect, remind him I’ve been fucked up every day for the last 6 months. If he wants to visit, tell him about the other guys and how I only love whoever will get me the highest.
If my best friend wants to go out, tell him that I almost died and I’m not up hanging out with people yet. But see if he’ll bring me whisky and cigarettes cause I’ve stopped throwing up. Don’t ever tell  him about the fears and regrets.
If my grandma calls, keep it short and tell her not worry, I will be back home for the holidays. But don’t tell her how I will be too skinny, sleepy & moody, or that I’m going through a
$500 a day phase.
If my cousin asks about the bloodshed & needles on my bedroom floor, only say its just part of growing up and its nothing he should repeat. But tell him if he wants to help, bring coffee & records, cause I could use some cheering up.

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